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dreamsallotted

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From:

dreamsallotted

How the hell did you get so damn wise?

[It was the epitome of not fair as far as Seel was concerned. Cal went crazy, kills an amazing har, and somehow finds himself, gets all with it and together and inherits the world.]

From:

immanionorchid

Practice. Or maybe I actually learned something staring at walls.

From:

dreamsallotted

If you're going to suggest I stare at walls for thirty years, I don't think I'm up for that.

From:

immanionorchid

Neither was I.

From:

dreamsallotted

What were you going to suggest then?

[he didn't want to spend the rest of his life with leashes around his neck.]

From:

immanionorchid

That you find your own way.

From:

dreamsallotted

What do you think I've been trying to do for the last thirty years, Cal? Do you think I enjoy feeling like I need to hold back my temper?

[For someone thinking himself self enlightened, he really did need to work on knowing himself more. Gelaming, indeed.]

From:

immanionorchid

You won't like the answers I have for you. And they may not even work. I can't tell you how to be, Seel.

From:

dreamsallotted

Really? You seem to be doing a good job of it anyway. I thought that was how this relationship worked now. You tell me how to be and I comply.

[Seel was back to sniping, because well, he wasn't getting his way. Go figure.]

From:

immanionorchid

I can tell you what to do, not who you are.

From:

dreamsallotted

[Cal really was something, he wasn't falling for any of his baits or traps. How different this may have gone just thirty years ago. Seel remembered a time when their positions had been reversed. Things hadn't gone so well then either. Orien had ended up dead, and Seel hadn't been able to see that Cal needed more help than he could offer. And now....]

Fine. What were the answers I wasn't going to like?

From:

immanionorchid

I had to be torn into pieces to find what I have now. I was stripped of everything and broken down to nothing and stared into my own soul. It was, at the very least, unenjoyable. I'm not certain you'd appreciate the experience.

From:

dreamsallotted

I'm fairly certain I wouldn't. And while that was rather poetic, I'd rather not go through the same thing.

[To his effort, he at least did not add ' I don't deserve it.']

Then I suppose this is the dance we'll do.

From:

immanionorchid

So long as you continue to take the same steps, anyway.

From:

dreamsallotted

[Seel sighed, feeling trapped and not knowing what to do about it. He didn't want to strip himself of everything he was and torture himself to find out what lay beneath the core. But he didn't want to be Cal's lackey for the rest of his life either. And thats what he was, wasn't he? Always second, third, fourth, however many down the line. He hated that Swift's first instinct for a second in command was Ithiel and not him. He hated that Thiede felt the need to jerk him around like a puppet.

And that was the problem wasn't it? Seel hated.]

From:

immanionorchid

[Cal can't really blame him for not saying anything. If he were Seel, he'd have nothing to say too.]

You did ask.

From:

dreamsallotted

I know.

[Seel picked up the hammer he had abandoned.]

I need to finish this. I promise I'll check in more regularly, but I probably wont be home for another day or two. Maybe we can talk more then.

From:

immanionorchid

As you wish. I may not be spending quite so much time there as planned yet, either.

From:

dreamsallotted

Why is that?

From:

immanionorchid

Because I'd be an idiot if I made myself that available for whichever morons decide to come after me.

From:

dreamsallotted

I think you're just used to running.

[There Seel went, saying whatever came out of his mouth.]

Because you don't need to run. I'd pity whoever thought they'd be a match for you.